You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
