I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
