Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
what day is it and did you see me today?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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