my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
