oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
