I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize