What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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