Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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