god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
