WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
