Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
