Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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