I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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