Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
