My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize