i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
