nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
