She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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