If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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