Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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