lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
