THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
