i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
