Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
