And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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