Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
