So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
