Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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