she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
