yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
