i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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