you guys were way drunker than both of me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
