You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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