You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I want her autograph on my taint
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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