just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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