There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
