you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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