My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
