summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
