dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
