I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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