he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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