I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
