it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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