so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
