The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
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