So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How's work?
Spinning.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
