They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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