real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
