I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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