So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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