Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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