they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
