Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
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I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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