now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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