He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
