I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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