Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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