ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
