Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
