Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (2407) Bad night (2798)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box

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(215): You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box http://tfl.nu/kcqr

Replies (5) Good night (4266) Bad night (734)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask

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(732): I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask http://tfl.nu/8bk4

Replies (11) Good night (4682) Bad night (706)
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(480): View more from Arizona

We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

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(480): We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie. http://tfl.nu/xse4

Replies (65) Good night (905) Bad night (16853)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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(910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py

Replies (13) Good night (2524) Bad night (3232)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

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(403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w

Replies (18) Good night (5082) Bad night (1399)
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(801): View more from Utah

This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

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(801): This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me. http://tfl.nu/7tsq

Replies (19) Good night (1129) Bad night (3696)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big

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(970): I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big http://tfl.nu/le84

Replies (12) Good night (1996) Bad night (2902)
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(650): View more from California

That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.

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(650): That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in. http://tfl.nu/qyvf

Replies (9) Good night (2404) Bad night (1240)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�

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(832): I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.� http://tfl.nu/6jpo

Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (505)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.

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(403): We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex. http://tfl.nu/5276

Replies (9) Good night (1770) Bad night (590)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make

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(814): Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make http://tfl.nu/r41j

Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (335)
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(858): View more from California

He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

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(858): He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup" http://tfl.nu/blqz

Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (335)
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(208): View more from Idaho

i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.

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(208): i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure. http://tfl.nu/4yxo

Replies (0) Good night (739) Bad night (296)
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(905): View more from Ontario

4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours

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(905): 4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours http://tfl.nu/zrgf

Replies (5) Good night (320) Bad night (446)

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