Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  More tranny stories later!

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  (586): More tranny stories later! http://tfl.nu/jmul
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (657)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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  (514): i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome? http://tfl.nu/1uvu
  Replies (18) Good night (3685) Bad night (769)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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  (703): i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days! (804): Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us! (703): well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted. http://tfl.nu/ybes
  Replies (48) Good night (5932) Bad night (948)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5720) Bad night (1277)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school

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  (630): Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school http://tfl.nu/domf
  Replies (19) Good night (7184) Bad night (835)
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  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4208) Bad night (1093)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa

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  (847): Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa http://tfl.nu/xcft
  Replies (2) Good night (2261) Bad night (1023)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(

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  (952): I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :( http://tfl.nu/9wgw
  Replies (3) Good night (1450) Bad night (619)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

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  (215): It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke http://tfl.nu/1v10
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (1360)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.

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  (313): I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to. http://tfl.nu/ozzk
  Replies (8) Good night (572) Bad night (1042)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.

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  (815): Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down. http://tfl.nu/94ky
  Replies (5) Good night (884) Bad night (426)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

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  (828): Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis? http://tfl.nu/tjmy
  Replies (12) Good night (995) Bad night (397)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  THAT'S MY GIRL

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  (919): So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy. (336): THAT'S MY GIRL http://tfl.nu/glim
  Replies (1) Good night (1114) Bad night (332)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going

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  (203): I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going http://tfl.nu/1nul
  Replies (2) Good night (193) Bad night (345)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be

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  (570): I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft (1-570): Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be http://tfl.nu/nzda
  Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (137)

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