whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
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He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life