But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
my poor anus
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae