I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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