I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
