home. puking in laundry basket.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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