sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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