It's Friday. Sex?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize