But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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