Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
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Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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