Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
